Wedding Tradition
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In a traditional wedding, the '''wedding party''' refers to the group of people participating in the ceremony with the ''bride'' and ''groom'' (formally, ''bridegroom''). The '''bridal party''' consists of the ''maid of honor'' (''matron of honor'' if she is married) and the ''bridesmaids''. The groom is accompanied by the ''best man'' and the ''groomsmen''. Finally, any ''flower girls'' and ''page boys'' (including the ''ringbearer'') are traditionally included in the wedding party.
Bride
A '''bride''' is a female participant in a wedding ceremony: a woman about to be married, currently being married, or, in some uses, very recently married (applicable during the first year of wifehood). The term used to mean 'daughter-in-law', as newly married women at one time moved into the husband's family home. Further back, the word possibly comes from the Teutonic word for 'cook'
A bride is typically attended by one or more bridesmaids or maids of honor. Her male partner is the bridegroom or "groom", after the wedding, in marriage, her husband.
Attire
In Europe and North America, the typical attire for a bride is a formal dress and sometimes a tiara. Usually, the dress is bought only for the wedding, and never worn again. For first marriages, a white wedding wedding dress dress is usually worn, a tradition started by Victoria of the United Kingdom Queen Victoria's wedding. Etiquette once prescribed that a white dress should not be worn for subsequent marriages, since the wearing of white was mistakenly regarded by some as an ancient symbol of virginity, despite the fact that wearing white is a fairly recent development in wedding traditions. Today, brides may wear white, cream, or ivory dresses for any number of marriages; the color of the dress is not a comment on the bride's sexual history. In fact, up until the 19th century, the bride generally wore her best dress, whatever color it was, or ordered a new dress in her favorite color and expected to wear it again.
In addition to the gown, the bride often wears a veil and carries a flower bouquet of flowers. A garter (stockings) may also be worn by the bride, and later removed by the groom during the reception.
History
In the late 1870s to 1880s the black or dark colored wedding dress was common. The term appears in combination with many words, some of them obsolete. Thus "bridegroom" is the newly married man, and "bride-bell," "bride-banquet" are old equivalents of wedding-bells, wedding-breakfast. "Bridal" (from ''Bride-ale''), originally the wedding-feast itself, has grown into a general descriptive adjective, e.g. the [[wedding party ''bridal'' party]], the ''bridal'' ceremony. The [[wedding cake ''bride-cake'']] had its origin in the Roman ''confarreatio'', a form of marriage, the essential features of which were the eating by the couple of a cake made of salt, water and [[spelt]] flour, and the holding by the bride of three wheat-ears, a symbol of plenty.
Under Tiberius the cake-eating fell into disuse, but the wheat ears survived. In the middle ages they were either worn or carried by the bride. Eventually it became the custom for the young girls to assemble outside the church porch and throw grains of wheat over the bride, and afterwards a scramble for the grains took place. In time the wheat-grains came to be cooked into thin dry biscuits, which were broken over the bride's head, as is the custom in Scotland to-day, an oatmeal cake being used. In Elizabeth's reign these biscuits began to take the form of small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants and spices. Every wedding guest had one at least, and the whole collection were thrown at the bride the instant she crossed the threshold. Those which lighted on her head or shoulders were most prized by the scramblers. At last these cakes became amalgamated into a large one which took on its full glories of almond paste and ornaments during Charles II's time. But even to-day in rural parishes, e.g. north Notts, wheat is thrown over the bridal couple with the cry "Bread for life and pudding for ever," expressive of a wish that the newly wed may be always affluent. The throwing of rice, a very ancient custom but one later than the wheat, is symbolical of the wish that the bridal may be fruitful.
The ''bride-cup'' was the bowl or loving-cup in which the bridegroom pledged the bride, and she him. The custom of breaking this wine-cup, after the bridal couple had drained its contents, is common to both the Jews and the members of the Greek Church. The former dash it against the wall or on the ground, the latter tread it under foot. The phrase "bride-cup" was also sometimes used of the bowl of spiced wine prepared at night for the bridal couple. ''Bride-favours'', anciently called bride-lace, were at first pieces of gold, silk or other lace, used to bind up the sprigs of rosemary formerly worn at weddings. These took later the form of bunches of ribbons, which were at last metamorphosed into rosettes.
''Bridegroom-men'' and ''bridesmaids'' had formerly important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to "lift" the bride. Bridesmaids were usual in Saxon England. The senior of them had personally to attend the bride for some days before the wedding. The making of the bridal wreath, the decoration of the tables for the wedding feast, the dressing of the bride, were among her special tasks. In the same way the senior groomsman (the ''best man'') was the personal attendant of the husband.
The ''bride-wain'', the wagon in which the bride was driven to her new home, gave its name to the weddings of any poor deserving couple, who drove a "wain" round the village, collecting small sums of money or articles of furniture towards their housekeeping. These were called bidding-weddings, or bid-ales, which were in the nature of "benefit" feasts. So general is still the custom of "bidding-weddings" in Wales, that printers usually keep the form of invitation in type. Sometimes as many as six hundred couples will walk in the bridal procession.
The ''bride's wreath'' is a Christian substitute for the gilt coronet all Jewish brides wore. The crowning of the bride is still observed by the Russians, and the Calvinists of Holland and Switzerland. The wearing of orange blossoms is said to have started with the Saracens, who regarded them as emblems of fecundity. It was introduced into Europe by the Crusaders. The ''bride's veil'' is the modern form of the ''flammeum'' or large yellow veil which completely enveloped the Greek and Roman brides during the ceremony. Such a covering is still in use among the Jews and the Persians
Groom
A '''bridegroom''' (often shortened to '''''groom''''') is a man who is about to be marriage married, or who has just been married. His female partner is known as the bride, who is typically attended by one or more bridesmaids and a maid or matron of honor. (In same-gender weddings, two male participants may both be termed groom.) The groom will after that ceremony be called a husband of his new spouse.
Etymology
The word "bridegroom" is derived from ''bride'' and the archaic ''guma'', "man", from the Proto-Indo-European language Indogermanic root of "earth" (for "ghmún"), which evolved into Latin ''humanus'' and Germanic and English "man" and "groom". Through folk etymology the word became assimilated to ''groom,'' meaning a servant.
Customs
A bridegroom is typically attended by a best man and groomsmen.
In western cultures, the groom usually wears a dark coloured suit or tuxedo during the wedding ceremony. At the end of the wedding, it is the groom's privilege to remove the bride's garter (stockings) and toss it over his shoulder to the group of male guests, much like the "tossing of the bouquet" performed by the bride. It is traditional belief that whomever catches the garter will be the next to be married.
Maid (Matron) of Honor
The '''maid of honor''' is the primary member of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. Specifically, she is the primary attendant with the most honors and duties of the bridal party, and is considered the equivalent of the groom's best man.
North America
In North America, the bride might have several bridesmaids, but the maid of honor is the title and position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. If she is married, the title '''matron of honor''' is used. In modern day weddings some brides opt to choose a long-time male friend or brother as their head attendant, using the title "Man of Honor".
The Maid of Honor's duties may be as many or as varied as the bride may wish to impose upon her, but typically, she is responsible for:
Pre-wedding
* Travelling with the bride to help choose a wedding venue.
* Helping to choose and address wedding invitations.
* Going with the bride to help with the shopping for her wedding dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses.
* Going with the bride to register for her wedding gifts.
* Helping the bride with the seating arrangements.
* Hosting and planning the bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party / hen's night.
* Maintaining communication and organization with the other bridesmaids.
* Attending and assisting during the rehearsal dinner.
* Attending showers and recording of gifts received.
Wedding day
* Assisting the bride with her dress and makeup.
* Being the messenger if the bride wants to communicate sight-unseen with the family or groom.
* Visiting the wedding reception reception room to check on the details.
* Helping to make sure the bride has privacy before the ceremony if desired.
* Signing of the marriage license after the ceremony.
* Helping the bride with her wedding veil veil and train before, during and after the ceremony.
* Holding the bride’s bridal bouquet during the ceremony as required.
* Holding the groom's wedding ring to hand to the bride during the ceremony
* Making a toast (honor) toast and/or speech during the reception.
* Securing any money as might be given to the wedding couple during the reception.
* Providing emotional support as needed.
United Kingdom
In the United Kingdom, the term "maid of honour" originally referred to the female attendant of a Queen regnant queen. The term "bridesmaid" is normally used for a bridal attendant. However, when the attendant is married, or is a mature woman, the term "matron of honour" is more commonly used. The influence of American English has led to the Chief Bridesmaid sometimes being called the Maid of Honour.
In the UK, a "maid of honour" is also a type of small cake.
Best man
The '''best man''' is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding. Usually the groom extends this honour to someone who is close to him, generally either a brother or his closest male friend. Alternatively, should one of the groom's male friends have been directly responsible for introducing the groom to his bride (or otherwise responsible for bringing them together), the honor of best man might be extended to him in gratitude. In a remarriage, a son of the groom may sometimes act as best man.
Duties
====
In the context of a traditional American/British [[white wedding]], the best man's duties typically include:
* Organizing a [[bachelor party]] (U.S.) / [[stag night]] (U.K.) / buck's night (Aus.) for the groom
* Possibly helping plan or organize some details of the wedding
* Assisting with wedding-day logistics and unforeseen circumstances that arise
* Assisting the groom on the morning of wedding day
* Getting the groom to the wedding on time
* Supervising the groomsmen or ushers
* Ensuring the rings are brought to the ceremony (usually they will have been given to the best man either earlier in the day or previously) and then passing these to the bride and groom at the appropriate point in the ceremony
* Acting as a legal witness to the marriage
* Giving a speech at the wedding and thanking the bride's parents
* Making a toast to the bride and groom at the reception
* Dance with the [[Maid of honor]] and helping to ensure that other guests make it to the dance floor and dance
* Decorating the car of the married couple
* Returning the Groomsmen's tuxedos / morning suits (U.K.), if they are rented
In the US, the [[groomsman groomsmen]] assist the best man with these functions.
When the groom wishes to give this honor to a woman, she may be termed the "best woman" or "best person", or may still be referred to as the 'best man'. The bride's equivalent of the best man is the [[maid of honour maid or matron of honour]]. A neutral term is "honor attendant".
=== Best man in various cultures ===
In [[Uganda]] a best man does what is described above but he is also challenged to guide the newlyweds in ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple. {{Fact date=February 2007}}
In [[Ukraine]] a best man is responsible for guarding a bride during the wedding. When he steps away traditionally a shoe gets stolen from the bride. Then the best man has to pay a ransom in exchange for returning the shoe -- usually by either drinking [[vodka]] or paying [[money]]. {{Fact date=July 2007}}
In [[Bhutan]] the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he performs for the guests before commencement of marriage. These performances can last for 5 hours with the exhausted best man returning to his wooden carriage very similar to a dog kennel. He remains there to watch on before joining the other guests to celebrate the special occasion - usually in a drunken stupor.{{Fact date=August 2007}}
== Bridesmaids ==
{ align=right
[[Image:Two Bridesmaids Curly Updos.JPG thumb right 150px Portrait of two bridemaids.]]
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[[Image:Bridesmaid and junior bridesmaid.jpg thumb rifht 150px Bridesmaid and junior bridesmaid. [[North Carolina]], [[U.S.A.]]]]
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[[Image:bridesmaid.arp.500pix.jpg thumb right 150px A young bridesmaid at a [[wedding]] in [[Thornbury Castle]], [[South Gloucestershire]], [[England]]]]
}
A '''bridesmaid''' is a girl or young woman who attends to the [[bride]] during or after a [[wedding]] or [[marriage]] ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.
In early Roman times, bridesmaids formed a kind of bridal infantry as they accompanied the bride to the groom's village. This "protective shield" of similarly outfitted bridesmaids was supposed to intervene if any wayward thugs or vengeful suitors tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry.
However, the Western bridesmaid tradition seems to have originated from later Roman law, which required ten witnesses at a wedding in order to outsmart evil spirits believed to attend marriage ceremonies. The bridesmaids and ushers dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits would not know who was getting married. Even as late as 19th century England, there was a belief that ill-wishers could administer curses and taint the wedding. In Victorian wedding photographs, for example, the bride and groom can look very similar to other members of the bridal party.
The principal bridesmaid is called the [[maid of honor]] (or [[matron of honor]] if she is married).
A bridesmaid is often a close friend or sister. Often there is more than one bridesmaid: in modern times the bride chooses how many to have. Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the status of the personage.
Bridesmaids are often called upon to assist the [[bride]] in the planning of the [[wedding]]. A bridesmaid is also expected to play a role in the planning of the [[bridal shower]] and the [[bachelorette party]]. It has become customary for the bride to present her [[maid of honor]] and bridemaids with gifts as a sign of gratitude for the support and financial commitment that comes with their roles.
=== "Bridesmaid" as an idiomatic term ===
{{Refimprove section date=December 2007}}
The term "bridesmaid" itself has also come to refer to one who comes close to attaining what is desired, only to fall just short, alluding to the fact that though a bridesmaid plays a large role in a wedding, she is not the one for whom the ceremony is given nor is she the center of attention. Commonly recited expressions about this member of the wedding party are "always a bridesmaid, but never a bride" and "thrice a bridesmaid, never a bride"-- an old charm that can be broken by being a bridesmaid seven times.
The term is used especially commonly to refer to a sports team or athlete that routinely comes close to winning an award or championship, only to come up just short. Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets had stated, for instance, that he was tired of being the "bridesmaid" after two consecutive losses in the NBA finals (to the [[Los Angeles Lakers]] in 2002 and to the [[San Antonio Spurs]] in 2003). Other notable bridesmaid teams during the 1990's were the [[Buffalo Bills]], [[Utah Jazz]], the [[England Cricket Team]] (for reaching the finals of the [[Cricket World Cup]] thrice and not winning it even once) and the [[New York Knicks]].
This idiomatic usage of the word bridesmaid most probably began in 1917 when Fred W. Leigh and Charles Collins composed "Always a Bridesmaid":
''<nowiki>'</nowiki>Why am I always a bridesmaid,''<br>
''Never the blushing bride?''<br>
''Ding! Dong! Wedding bells''<br>
''Always ring for other gals.''<br>
''But one fine day –''<br>
''Please let it be soon –''<br>
''I shall wake up in the morning''<br>
''On my own honeymoon.<nowiki>'</nowiki>''<br>
In 1925 the Listerine Company used it in their ad campaign, claiming that at the root of the 'always a bridemaid' syndrome was halitosis, or bad breath.<ref>[http://www.listerine.com/history2.aspx?id=766 Listerine® Antiseptic<!-- Bot generated title -->]</ref><ref>[http://your-scottsdale-wedding.com/wedding/scottsdale-weddings/always-a-bridesmaid-never-a-bride-by-vlady-peters/ Your Scottsdale Wedding » Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride By Vlady Peters<!-- Bot generated title -->]</ref>
== Groomsmen ==
{{Unreferencedsection date=December 2007}}
In a [[North America]]n/[[Australian]] or [[United Kingdom British]] wedding a '''groomsman''' or '''usher''' is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony.
Usually the groom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsmen, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom chooses one to serve as best man.
In a typical white wedding, the duties of a groomsman typically include some or all of the following:
* helping the best man plan the bachelor party (U.S.)/Stag Night(U.K)/Buck's Night (Aus.) for the groom
* ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony
* escorting the bridesmaids down the aisle during the ceremony and reception
* giving speeches and toast (honor) toasts (however, this duty is usually performed by the best man)
* doing whatever is necessary to help make the groom's wedding experience a smooth & enjoyable one
* and sometimes dancing with bridesmaids and other single female guests at the reception
The groom may also designate other male friends and relatives to act as '''ushers''', whose main task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony.
In a military officers wedding, the role of groomsman is replaced by Swordsmen of the Sword Honor Guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional [[saber arch]] for the married couple and guests to walk through.
Gifts
To show appreciation and gratitude, the bridegroom will traditionally purchase gifts for his best man and groomsmen. These gifts are generally known as '''groomsmen gifts'''. Groomsmen gifts serve as both a thank you to all the groomsmen or ushers who take the time (and spend the money) to be a part of your wedding celebration. Groomsmen gifts are also a way to commemorate the special day for years to come.
Traditionally, the bridegroom will give a gift to both his father, the bride's father and the [[ringbearer]].
Flower Girls
A '''flower girl''' is a participant in a wedding procession. Traditionally, her responsibility is to walk in front of the bride, either to:
* Spread flower petals on the floor before the bride
* Carry a bouquet of flowers
* Carry a bouquet of flowers or bunch of thornless rose roses, which they pass out to the guests as they go down the aisle.
She is usually a young child because traditionally flower girls had to be virgins. The recommended age between 4 and 8 years of age. Her male equivalent is the Ringbearer Ring Bearer or Page (weddings) Page Boy. Often the ''ringbearer'' and the ''flower girl'' are made to look like a couple, as with the best man and maid of honor.
There may be more than one ''flower girl'', particularly at very formal or [[society]] weddings, or if the bride has several young relatives to honour. This occurs less frequently than it used to, although it is still common to see several flower girls at British [[royal family royal]] weddings.{{Fact date=February 2007}}
Flower girls, [[Ringbearer ring bearer]]s and [[Page (weddings) page boys]] are often nieces and nephews or young brothers and sisters but may also be children of friends. Typically, it is the responsibility of the parents to pay or provide for the dress.{{Fact date=February 2007}}
Page Boys
A '''page boy''' is a young male attendant at a wedding or cotillion.
This type of wedding attendant is less common than it used to be, but is still a way of including young relatives or the children of relatives and friends in a wedding. A page is often seen at British royal weddings. There may be many pages for effect at cotillions.
In a formal wedding or a white wedding, the page may be involved with the following:
* A ringbearer is a special page, who carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is a modern term, and it is perfectly correct to refer to the [[Ringbearer]]
* Traditionally, page boys may carry the bride's train, especially if she is wearing a dress with a long train.
Ringbearers and page boys are usually nephews or young brothers and are generally no younger than about 5 nor older than 9 or 10.
Ringbearer
In a formal wedding, a '''ring bearer''' or '''pageboy''' is a special page, who performs one of two functions.
*A ring bearer carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is almost always symbolic, with the ring bearer carrying a large white satin [[Wedding ring cushion pillow]] on which imitation rings are sewn, the real wedding bands being in the safekeeping of the [[best man]]. If the real rings are used, they are [[Sewing tacked on]] with thread.
*A '''pageboy''' traditionally carries the bride's train if she is wearing a dress with a long train.
The ringbearer as a separate role is a relatively modern innovation; in a white wedding ceremony best man carried the rings.
Ring bearers and pageboys are usually nephews or young brothers (although they can also be nieces or sisters) and are generally no younger than about 5 nor older than 9 or 10.
Officiant/Celebrant
In the United States, Canada and many other countries around the world, a '''celebrant''' is a person who performs religious or secular celebrancy services for weddings, funerals, child namings, coming of age ceremonies, and other rituals.
Some Celebrants are ordained clergy, while others are Officiants empowered by the Humanist Association of Canada (HAC), the American Humanist Association (AHA), or the [[Society for Humanistic Judaism. (SHJ). In Australia, where Celebrants are commonly hired, they may be certified by any one of a number of Celebrancy training programs, while in the UK, most belong to one of a number of Humanist organizations, including the British Humanist Association and the Humanist Society of Scotland.
Celebrants may perform alternative and nontraditional ceremonies in places, and under circumstances where mainstream religious clergy will not. Some Celebrants perform same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies. Celebrants, also called Officiant Officiants, often perform ceremonies in parks, on beaches, on mountains, on boats, on hiking trails, in hotels, in banquet halls, in private homes, and many other places.
Laws in each state of the United States vary about who has the right to perform wedding ceremonies, but Celebrants or Officiants are usually categorized as "clergy" and have the same rights and responsibilities as ordained clergy. In Canada and in the US State of Massachusetts, the only places in North America where same-sex marriages are legalized, Celebrants and Officiants perform many LGBT weddings.
In Scotland, since a June 2005 ruling by the Registrar General, humanist weddings are now legal, providing that they are conducted by an Authorized Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland making Scotland one of only three countries in the world where this is the case. (The other two are the USA and Norway.)
Celebrants differ from [[Chaplains]] in that Celebrants serve the unaffiliated public at large, while Chaplains are usually employed by an institution such as a hospital or other health care facility, the military, etc.
In Australia, Celebrants have a slightly different role, as regulated by local and national laws. See ''Celebrant (Australia)'' for more information.
In the United States, Celebrants are professional ceremony officiants who believe in the power and effectiveness of ceremony and ritual to serve basic needs of society and the individual. They collaborate with their clients to create and perform personalized ceremonies that reflect the client’s beliefs, philosophy of life, and personality; not the Celebrant’s. See ''Celebrant (United States)'' for more information.
